Our constantly pivoting thesis
At Spaghetti Wall Ventures, we're thesis-driven investors. Our thesis changes every time Marc Andreessen tweets or whenever a16z raises a new fund. This agility allows us to always be investing in last quarter's hot sector.
Current conviction areas
We believe AI agents represent the future of something. We're not sure what, but we've already invested $200M to find out.
AI agents (because everyone else is)
What we look for:
- Companies with "Agent" in the name ✓
- Founders who say "agentic" unironically ✓
- Any mention of "reasoning" or "emergence" ✓
- Definitely not GPT wrappers (we don't check) ✓
Quantum computing (we don't understand it = it's disruptive)
Investment criteria:
- Uses the word "quantum" ✓
- Founder has physics degree (or watched YouTube video) ✓
- Impossible to understand (bullish signal) ✓
- No working quantum computer (details) ✓
Whatever's trending on tech Twitter
Our most successful strategy:
- Check what's viral on Tech Twitter
- Invest in 10 companies doing that thing
- AI girlfriends (dystopian but fundable)
- SpaceX but for [literally anything]
Our investment process (patent pending)
Step 1: Deal sourcing (passive)
- Wait for warm intros (cold emails auto-deleted)
- Check Stanford GSB alumni updates
- See what a16z invested in yesterday
Step 2: Due diligence (47 minutes)
- Minutes 1-5: Check LinkedIn for Stanford
- Minutes 6-10: Count buzzwords in deck
- Minutes 11-45: Text other VCs "you in?"
- Minutes 46-47: Decision time
Step 3: Investment committee
- Marcus: "Thoughts?"
- Jennifer: "It's [X] for women"
- Brad: "When I sold my company..."
- Dave: "Add blockchain?"
- Decision: Unanimous yes (no one was listening)
Step 4: Terms (standard)
- 2x liquidation preference (founder-friendly!)
- Board seat we'll never use
- Information rights we'll never exercise
- Pro-rata we'll never follow
Why founders choose us
Speed
72-hour term sheets (68 hours waiting for other VCs to commit first)
Network
347 portfolio companies (73 will return your call)
Value-add
- Quarterly email asking "how can we help?"
- Annual LinkedIn reshare
- Intros to other struggling portfolio companies
- Unsolicited advice about adding AI
Brand
Being in our portfolio signals you couldn't get better VCs
Ready to throw your startup at our wall?
If your startup exists and needs money, you're already qualified for our47-minute due diligence process.
Stanford founders get expedited to 23 minutes.